Do you always ask for a pay rise or put your prices up when you deserve it? Or do you feel really guilty about asking? Are you not 100% sure you're worth it?

It's a pretty difficult thing, but a pivotal skill, as I'm sure you know, to getting where you want and what you want out of life. 9 times out of 10, if you can't ask, it's a confidence or a self-worth thing. I don't want to rock the boat, I don't want to be cheeky, I don't want to seem arrogant or cocky. There's such an endemic fear among women in particular that we don't want to seem aggressive or pushy - it's so much easier (and more socially acceptable) to be quiet and to wait to be asked. However, I'm a very big believer in the saying 'don't ask, don't get'.

So, how do you get out of feeling like you can't ask? A great starting point would be to take a sheet of A4 paper and commit to filling it with all the things you're great at - I mean, no gaps left blank. What do you give your family and your partner? What makes you great at work? Why do your clients love you? You're not allowed to get up until you've filled it! 

Start the day with writing a list of 'what's good and new'. I leave a blank notepad open on my chest of drawers - I have to see it in order to get dressed! Take 60 seconds to think of all you can. Even if it's just 'I got home safely last night', 'I've woken up today not feeling tired'. Even if you don't feel like it, it will enable you to start your day in a positive mindset, therefore boosting your confidence.

My last tip is to breathe and ask. Don't pick the hardest thing first (maybe not the payrise or the promotion as your first question!) Maybe ask your boyfriend if he could help you with something around the house. Ask for the dressing that you actually want on your salad at lunchtime. Just get used to asking - lots of practice means that when you come to the difficult questions, you'll be able to take that breath and ask the question. 

Just asking is a big step in the right direction in a lot of people's eyes, so who knows where it will take you! 

If you feel like you need a little more help, I'm offering a pretty exciting free consultation at the moment - absolutely for FREE, 'How to Get Stronger, Leaner & More Confident'


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  • How to believe that you deserve your space in the room and can ask for what you want
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